Man Arrested After Stabbing Watermelon

BY Herschel Smith
5 months ago

NBC Connecticut:

A 49-year-old Connecticut man has been charged with threatening after his wife told police he stabbed and carved a watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner.

Thomaston Police Chief Jim Campbell said Carmine Cervellino’s wife originally went to police on July 4 to report finding marijuana and drugs in a toolbox at the house. The toolbox was not there when police responded and no charges were filed.

When the woman later returned home, she found a watermelon on the counter with a butcher’s knife in it, police said.

She told police that Cervellino came in soon after and carved the watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner, Campbell said.

The Register Citizen of Torrington, which originally reported the story, said the woman took a photo of the toolbox and the knife and showed them to police.
 
Cervellino was arrested on July 12 and charged with threatening and disorderly conduct, according to online court records.

Because, you know, there are all those laws protecting watermelons.  Family problems, you say?  I don’t know, but there’s only one answer for this situation.  Arrest Jerry Miculek immediately!

  • tkdkerry

    I want to know how the frac you carve a watermelon in a “passive-aggressive manner”. Sounds like a skill that would be useful for pumpkins at Halloween.

  • Ned Weatherby

    Looks like the owner of Samurai Deli would be in big trouble.

  • Martel733

    Not only did I stab a watermelon 2 days ago but I ate it as well.


You are currently reading "Man Arrested After Stabbing Watermelon", entry #12482 on The Captain's Journal.

This article is filed under the category(s) Humor,Politics and was published July 15th, 2014 by Herschel Smith.

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